Group Dynamics

After years of interacting with skeptics, I conclude that for critics, the actual sin of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is that we dare to group ourselves together. Random, scattered, isolated individuals pose no real threat to anyone. To our critics, it would be better if we were not a cohesive group.

Aren’t the Latter-day Saints able to do more good as a group? Don’t we help more as a unit? Don’t the youth benefit from being with other youth and adult mentors? Don’t men and women benefit from being part of a group?

Didn’t the Missourians in Jackson County in the 1830s persecute the saints because they were a group? A group that could disrupt the status quo in Missouri? In a way, weren’t the extermination order Missourians of the 1830s the spiritual forebearers of many of the critics of the Church today?

Every October and April, dozens of critics eagerly listen to general conference with the intent of providing new content for their audiences. I see them criticize virtually every speaker from every angle. It feels like they prefer that we say nothing. I think they wish we just kept our mouths shut and kept the TVs off that weekend. They especially shun principles related to covenants and standards.

Is it wrong to have a standard? A goal? An aim? Are we allowed to say anything, or must we remain silent for fear of making someone, somewhere, feel bad?

Would the critics prefer that our church was nothing more than a glorified self-help seminar mixed with Jesus?

Anytime there is a large group, it requires some institutional organization. Gallup reported historic lows in trust in US institutions in 2022 and 2023.² Distrusting institutions is trendy.

“I want to see the church do good, but I have so little trust in the organization.”³ – Reddit user

Aren’t critics being swept up in what is societally popular right now? Is their problem really with the Church, or do they have other influences, such as a general distrust of organizations, that inform their skepticism?

It’s easy to see the bias. Look at the comments reacting to any clearly positive headline with the Church and see the vitriol.

$44 Million donated to alleviate world hunger donated in 2023

• “Is the old adage, ‘You've got to spend money to make money’ applicable here?”⁴ – Reddit user

$8.7 Million donated to the Red Cross in 2024

• “That's literally pocket change for the multi-billion dollar church and is only donated for tax purposes if this is even true.”⁵ – Reddit user

Light the World charity vending machines (where the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints absorbed 100% of the operating costs)

• “Brilliant and greedy marketing. They keep their 100’s of billions in the bank, members (and some others) pay for the gifts and LDS inc get all the glory and another PR win.”⁶ – Reddit user
• “Even if legit…Why doesn’t the church encourage members to donate directly to these organizations? Why make people give it to them so they can then claim it as money they are donating? For a church claiming to be led by Jesus, they care more about the appearance of being charitable than the actual charity.”⁷ – Reddit user

Free ice cream for visitors at BYU football games

• I do not have the exact quote, but I recall vividly someone on X (Twitter) in the fall of 2023 who claimed that free ice cream for visitors at BYU Football games was a ploy to gain converts and thereby make more tithing money. The X (Twitter) user’s math was something like, “If they have a 1% conversion rate on 3000 visitors, that’s 30 converts per game. If each convert pays $10,000/year in tithing in perpetuity, then the Church gets a huge return on their investment.”

The truth is that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is excellent at providing aid and helping for the right reasons and with little fanfare. I’m sure the Church could be doing more in the same way that I could be doing more. I suspect that no matter who the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints helps and how much money is donated, there are a great many people who will sneer and make accusations. So, I stopped listening to them.

Masculinity

Toxic masculinity is a popular subject in the culture right now, as it should be. Abusive and domineering men should be stopped and taught.

Is there a better program than the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints for teaching boys how to be truly masculine?

Doesn’t the Church do a great job of giving boys and men a responsibility and a role to play in society and in the Church? Aren’t the Church’s doctrines and teachings directing boys and men to think of others and serve God?

Isn’t the Church a great place for good men to mentor boys? Men who teach true masculinity? Aren’t the boys of the Church less likely to become delinquent? Less likely to be destructive or “toxic”?

Are there other successful large organizations where men are taught as successfully by other men how to be a force for good in their families and in the world?

Aren’t women the biggest beneficiary of the Church’s ability to create good men? Aren’t so many problems in society tied to fatherlessness? Doesn’t the gospel of Jesus Christ remedy the root cause of fatherlessness?

If the world, like members of the Church, practiced the principles of chastity, charity, temperance, and patience, wouldn’t we have fewer divorces and family abandonments?

Violence

On March 30^th, 2024, a news story was published about a teenage boy from Gilbert, Arizona, who beat up another boy at a party. The victim died from his injuries. A critic of the Church of Jesus Christ posted online the original news article with the following (now deleted) caption:

“AZ hometown news: a group of wealthy Mormon teens bullied and beat a 16-year-old to death in Gilbert Arizona. The local Mormon community collaborated to protect the perpetrator and the Gilbert police refused to charge until national pressure made them.”

I was upset that something like that could happen among our ranks. Having lived briefly in neighboring Queen Creek, Arizona, I was stunned that something like that could happen. Then I read the news article.⁸ There was not one mention of the boy’s religious affiliation, no indication of a conspiracy to cover up by local ward/stake members, and nothing about the Gilbert police delaying pressing charges. Nothing about the boy or the details surrounding the incident sounded remotely like the account was about a faithful Latter-day Saint teenage boy.

Sure enough, less than 24 hours later, to this critic’s credit, they owned their mistake and admitted:

“None of the Gilbert Goons are Mormon. It is a rumor. There are a lot of Mormons in Gilbert. Some fool started the rumor that some of the goons are Mormon – and I foolishly boosted that baseless rumor.” (emphasis added)

Why do false stories like the one above and many similar ones get so much attention?

There are countless examples of critics desperately trying to find systematic violence among the Latter-day Saints. Why are critics so eager to do so?

Critics cannot accept or desperately try to cover up the reality that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints helps bad people become good and good people become better. Critics grab onto anything that allows them to believe that the Church is bad. In truth, every lesson, sacrament sermon, and general conference talk points Latter-day Saints to the Savior. Every devotional, fireside, and ordinance is intended to inspire the listener to improve themselves, their homes, their communities, and the world.

Why would I listen to critics who promote false narratives if I’m trying to find more light and truth?

Unfortunately, we live in a fallen world, and some bad people are out there. Sometimes, those people are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. However, common sense and evidence indicate that the bad people in the Church are bad in spite of the Church’s teachings, not because of it.

Worldview

For years, I wondered how people who were part of the same church and listening to the same messages could have radically different interpretations.

BYU-Idaho professor of Psychology Jeffery Thayne gave a FAIR Latter-day Saint conference speech in 2021⁹ titled “Worldview Apologetics: Revealing the Waters in Which We Swim.” So much of what I see in the Church and from detractors of the Church finally made sense to me when I saw and pondered the message of the video of this speech. To watch the original video, see it below:

Thayne gives a hypothetical example of two members of the Church, “James” and “Greg.”¹⁰ Both declare that the 1995 “The Family: A Proclamation to the World” is doctrinal. James believes that cultural norms and policies that encourage chastity are natural expressions of the proclamation on the family. Greg believes those same norms and policies regarding chastity stifle self-expression and burden LGBT-identified individuals.

How? How can two members of the same Church who believe the same document is doctrinal come to different conclusions?

It all comes down to worldview. Jeffrey says, “A worldview is a set of values and assumptions about the world, through which we interpret our experiences. More specifically, worldviews shape our understanding of what human flourishing and the good life look like.” (emphasis added) The story we tell ourselves informs how we see the world, or rather, it is the waters we swim in.

Thayne then goes on to explain the two prominent worldviews (out of many) that influence members of the Church: The “Gospel Worldview/Story” and the “Expressive Individualist Worldview/Story.” Both worldviews have a (1) central problem/conflict, (2) character aspirations/desires, (3) expected/anticipated resolution, (4) definition of human flourishing/the good life, and (5) villains/antagonists.

The two visuals presented by Thayne helped me completely change the way I see the world. They give me compassion for those who oppose the Church. Depending on how I define the villain of the worldview/story, I could easily have become hostile to the Church as well. Depending on our worldview, here is how “the story” plays out.

In my mind, the gospel story is much more compelling. I see more positive fruits from the gospel story than the widespread expressive individualist story in the culture. People today are more depressed,¹¹ lonelier,”¹² and less religious¹³ than ever. I believe that a restoration to Christ as the central hero of our story is the only way to true societal healing.

Wouldn’t a worldview that focuses more on the gratification of my immediate wants hurt my family and community? Wouldn’t focusing on short-term, immediate pleasures make me less happy in the long run?

Wouldn’t my family and I be much better off with the gospel story?

I can imagine how miserable I would be if I only sought relationships with people who had no expectations of me. A shallow life where I cut out of my life everyone else who does not affirm me because they are “toxic.” I can imagine it because those are the cultural waters we swim in. Get me out of the pool, please.

Footnotes

1. “Nancy Was a Mormon, an Ex-Mormon Profile Spotlight.” Wasmormon.org, May 31.2024, https://wasmormon.org/nancy-was-a-mormon-an-ex-mormon-profile-spotlight/ ↩

2. Saad, Lydia. “Historically Low Faith in U.S. Institutions Continues,” Gallup News, Politics, July 6, 2023, https://news.gallup.com/poll/508169/historically-low-faith-institutions-continues.aspx ↩

3. [deleted] user. Response to “The Church donates $44 million to world hunger relief organizations.” Reddit, August 12^th 2023, https://www.reddit.com/r/mormon/comments/15oqa5h/the_church_donates_44_million_to_world_hunger/ ↩

4. zelph-doubt. Response to “The Church donates $44 million to world hunger relief organizations.” Reddit, August 12^th 2023, https://www.reddit.com/r/mormon/comments/15oqa5h/the_church_donates_44_million_to_world_hunger/ ↩

5. Cassirole22. Response to “Church makes $8.7M donation to the Red Cross.” Reddit, April 13^th 2023, https://www.reddit.com/r/mormon/comments/12kaj8l/church_makes_87m_donation_to_the_red_cross/ ↩

6. [deleted] user. Response to “LDS ‘Light the World’ giving machines are legit and the funds go to the actual charities the LDS church partners with. This can be verified by going to the partner charity respective sites where they will have a post of some kind about receiving funds from the campaign and partnering with the church.” Reddit, November 26^th 2021, https://www.reddit.com/r/exmormon/comments/r31bqu/lds_light_the_world_giving_machines_are_legit_and/ ↩

7. Poppysandhawthorne. Response to “LDS ‘Light the World’ giving machines are legit and the funds go to the actual charities the LDS church partners with. This can be verified by going to the partner charity respective sites where they will have a post of some kind about receiving funds from the campaign and partnering with the church.” Reddit, November 26^th 2021, https://www.reddit.com/r/exmormon/comments/r31bqu/lds_light_the_world_giving_machines_are_legit_and/ ↩

8. Miller, Joshua. “High school football player who allegedly beat another teen to death at party boasted of being ‘too strong’: cops”, NY Post, March 30, 2024, https://nypost.com/2024/03/30/us-news/talan-renner-high-school-football-player-who-allegedly-beat-preston-lord-to-death-at-party-boasted-of-being-too-strong/ ↩

9. Thayne, Jeffrey. “Worldview Apologetics: Revealing the Waters in Which We Swim.” FAIR Latter-day Saints, August 2021, https://www.fairlatterdaysaints.org/conference/august-2021/worldview-apologetics ↩

10. Thayne, Jeffrey. “Worldview Apologetics: Revealing the Waters in Which We Swim.” FAIR Latter-day Saints, August 2021, https://www.fairlatterdaysaints.org/conference/august-2021/worldview-apologetics ↩

11. Insel, Thomas. “America’s Mental Health Crisis”, Pew Charitable Trusts, December 8, 2023 from https://www.pewtrusts.org/en/trend/archive/fall-2023/americas-mental-health-crisis ↩

12. Murthy, Vivek. “Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation.” The U.S. Surgeon General’s Advisory on the Healing Effects of Social Connection and Community, 2023. https://www.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/surgeon-general-social-connection-advisory.pdf ↩

13. VanderWeele TJ, Li S, Kawachi I. “Religious Service Attendance and Suicide Rates—Reply.” JAMA Psychiatry. 2017;74(2):197–198. doi:10.1001/jamapsychiatry.2016.2780, https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamapsychiatry/article-abstract/2589160?casa_token=98YdJ_n-9fgAAAAA:XOke-7jeb_IypLB-YTXJPjtsm-3hpJRPK3locPlN5HCqW6XdwzrzCxRFDCQl8yReu8LL1Pk6Fg ↩